listen now, would you agree?
that words are hit or miss,
i'll shout it now, "hey, woe is me!"
i'm cruising an abyss

paralysis 
analysis 
dialysis
wait what?

see, one of these does not belong
these synonyms i'm sitting on
as doubt defines my theme song
i'll assume i'm always wrong

self-evident
i'm hesitant 
irrelevant
what now? 

they'll call me a thesaurus addict
please tell me what i mean
my words they never seem to click
yet others sound so keen

define 
refine 
unwind
but how?

do pity the fool who forges rhymes
who racks her brain and comes up dry
i admit i've done it all these times
maybe just give up and say, "k bye."

I’m trying to make a tourniquet 
or a splint 
or an airtight vacuum packed seal I guess

I need it to wrap around my bruising body
taking in my broken brittle barely bones 
just fractured jagged marrow shards 
pieced, no plastered back together 
something like a ransom note, it says
I FELL IN LOVE AND LATER I FELL OUT
gouged a hundred times the way down
tumbling  
rolling 
falling
going 
fast 
faster
more
more
more
flesh
crash
gash

I almost bled out back there.


 

All I want to know now
after years since our final exhale--
now that the debris of all we wrecked
has settled into nothing more than a forlorn dune
sterile and desolate, barren and dry from neglect,
a mirage of what was never really there.

Do you still think of me at all?
I think of you when I cross the desert--
a refraction of light
the prick of a cactus
I hate that I think of you at all,
it was you who knowingly sparked the serpentine fuse
that would ignite a raging wildfire between us.

As you evaporate in my consciousness,
I can't help but wonder again and again
have I become just a speck to you? 
an inconvenient smudge of dirt
on the surface of your searing mind 
blazing with girls' splintered hope,
hearts burnt well before mine.