apology

I am sorry little sprout
left in that far coastal sun

as seasons cycled long enough
your seed just sewn's outgrown
 
today my stem is rooted
in a life you do not know
 
but I think of you most 
when wind whips my cheeks

and rain soaks my feet
planted in a tired dream 
that did not include you then

in hindsight

a rope knot in my lungs
making it hard to breathe
so here and now I unravel you 
from the future I wove gayly 
with aching breaking
shaking fingers 
they pointed every which way
somehow always landing on you

we spoke in different tongues
with no direct translation
not between intention
nor word nor action 
nor want nor need,
this confusing correlation
of muddled messages
and veiled verity
 
you were my standstill
and I your stopover,
I pretended not to know
that I have always been
a childish idealist,
a pacifist too passive
but ignorance is bliss
do you really believe this?
 
healing is possible so I'm told
if with my strength I do not use
the illusion of you,
your twisted tongue
to seal the bleeding that's not done,
with limitless gaps 
will my sore mind manifest?
the will to unbind us two?

from a livid woman

you best take your eyes off my fucking body
because last time I checked I saw no magnet
attracting your hungry, frenzied gape to my ass

I am Artemis, I hunt prey weak like you
and I am merciless when I do prowl
 
see my scowl pierce your sorry stare,
as I imagine crushing you
so you're small like you try to make me

you're pinched between my spearlike fingers
squashed, no second thought, now see?
 
hear you sneer your wicked words my way,
attempt to carve them into my skin 
i imagine how you'll never satisfy 
a woman like my sweet lover nor I
your mother's disappointed, man child.
 
Kruger was being far too kind, ya know
your gaze does not hit the side of my face
it hits the side of my bloodied clenched fist

I am not flattered, your ego's best shattered,
you should gather it before it's plowed away